69 | Why Your Good Screen Time Might Be Your Sneakiest Digital Distraction

Picture Tuesday night. You’re on the couch, the kids are occupied, and you open Instagram. The content is good. Organization hacks. Healthy recipes. A parenting reel from that Christian creator you love.

Twenty minutes later, you close the app. Your kitchen is still a mess. Your family still needed things from you. Somehow, you feel empty. Not guilty, because you didn’t do anything wrong. But something is off, like you just finished a whole meal and you’re still hungry.

That feeling has a name. It’s digital distraction, and this version is the sneakiest kind. Not the obvious time-waster that steals hours of mindless scrolling. The kind that hides inside good content, wholesome intentions, and a completely defensible twenty minutes on your phone.

The question that actually changes things isn’t “Is this good or bad?” It’s “Is this good, better, or best for me right now?” That simple three-part framework, rooted in Scripture, can shift everything about how you relate to your phone, your people, and your time.

What Scripture Says About Good, Better, and Best

This idea runs through the Bible in more than one place, and it’s worth sitting with.

Most of us know the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10. Martha is rushing around serving, cleaning, making sure every detail is perfect. Good things, even beautiful things. Mary, by contrast, sits at Jesus’s feet and listens.

Martha grows frustrated and appeals to Jesus directly: “Don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me.” His answer stops her: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed, or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

Martha wasn’t doing anything wrong. Serving Jesus and others is a genuinely good and beautiful thing. But she was so absorbed in good that she missed what was better, which was Jesus himself, sitting right there in her living room.

The parallel to our phones is hard to ignore. We have one precious life unfolding right in front of us, and sometimes we’re too busy scrolling good content to actually live it. Good crowds out better. Better can even crowd out best.

Then there’s Philippians 1, where Paul prays that believers would “be able to discern what is best.” Not what’s acceptable. Not just what’s good. What is best. The word discern matters, because it tells us that best isn’t always obvious. It requires a pause, a moment of intention. That’s exactly what this framework helps you practise every time you reach for your phone.

The Good, Better, Best Framework for Digital Distraction

Good Screen Time

Good screen time is defensible but empty.

It’s scrolling educational content you never actually apply and watching wholesome shows with your phone in hand, half-present to neither. It’s surface-level texts that go nowhere beyond “Hey, how are you?” and “Good, you?” Check.

Here’s the one that stings a little: consuming sermons, podcasts, and Bible verse graphics without any real transformation happening. Learning about God rather than actually connecting with God.

Your brain gets its dopamine hit. It feels productive. You can justify every minute of it. But when your head hits the pillow at the end of the day, nothing has actually changed.

The question worth starting to ask: “Is this filling my time, or is it feeding my soul?” There’s a real difference between those two things. Good is not the problem. Good is just not where you want to stay. If you’ve been trying to limit screen time and still feeling stuck, this framework is your next step.

Better Screen Time

This is the shift from passive to active, from reactive to intentional.

Better looks like a real FaceTime conversation, not just a check-in box you tick. It’s opening your Bible app for actual study, with notes and highlights and real reflection, not a thirty-second tap to feel spiritual without doing anything. Creating something that serves other people instead of consuming constantly. It’s setting a real boundary, like an app blocker during family dinners or a Focus Mode that activates your phone-free zones when your kids walk through the door.

The shift at the centre of all of this: you stop reacting and you start choosing.

So the question changes too. You move from “Is this filling my time?” to “Am I choosing this, or is my phone choosing for me?” Better is intentional. Better is purposeful. Better actually moves the needle in your life. If you can shift from good to better, that is a genuine win.

Best Screen Time

Best is when what you’re doing, on your phone or off it, is completely aligned with who God made you to be.

Here’s what’s true about best: you know it when you’re in it. Your phone stops feeling like it has a pull on you. Notifications can wait. The scroll can wait. What’s happening right in front of you is worth your full attention.

Before the examples, one important note: your best might look different from mine. Define it for yourself, based on your values, your season of life, and your calling. Take what fits and leave the rest.

Best can mean being completely off your phone:

• Putting it down and having the actual conversation instead of texting about it later
• Being fully present when your kids walk through the door after school
• Sitting with a friend over coffee, phone in your bag and not face-up on the table between you
• Sitting in actual silence long enough to hear God

Best can also happen on your phone:

• The phone call where you laughed so hard you forgot to check anything else
• The FaceTime with your mom where she cried happy tears and you simply stayed there with her in that moment
• The voice note that started as a quick catch-up and turned into something you both needed
• Stopping in the middle of an ordinary Tuesday to pray with someone while they’re still in it, not promising you’ll do it later and forgetting by Wednesday
• Sending a voice memo that says “I’ve been thinking about you all week and I need you to know God sees you.” Your actual voice. Because sometimes a voice is exactly what someone needed to hear.

The difference is clear. Better is intentional. Best is when you’re so fully present that your phone’s usual grip just loosens. You’re using this incredible tool to create genuine connection, whether that means setting it down or picking it up.

A father once took his kids on big summer trips, covering historic sites and memorable experiences, the full tour. At the end of the summer, he asked his son what he’d enjoyed most. The boy said, “The night we laid on the lawn and looked at the stars and talked.”

Best lives in the ordinary. You just have to look for it and choose it.

Three Ways to Start Choosing Better and Best

The One-Second Pause

Before you pick up your phone, stop for one second. Ask yourself: “Is what I’m about to do good, better, or best? Is it going to feed my soul or just fill my time?”

You don’t have to change your behaviour yet. Start with noticing.

Define What Best Looks Like for You

Write down this question and sit with it honestly: “What would the version of me who’s living my values do right now?” You can’t reach for best if you haven’t taken time to define what best actually looks like in your own life. This step matters more than it sounds.

Create One Best Boundary

Choose one time in your day to protect space for best. Maybe it’s a morning Focus Mode that guards your first quiet hours. Or it’s charging your phone outside your bedroom so your mornings begin with intention rather than a scroll. Maybe it’s a phone-free dinner table. I have a Table Talk guide I made for families with 50 thoughtful prompts all designed to spark conversation. It’s really fun!

Small boundaries create real shifts over time.

Once you’ve started practising the good-better-best filter, the next step is giving your phone the structure to support it every single day.

Take It Deeper

Focus Modes are one of the most powerful, underused tools you have for making this shift a daily reality. They let you decide exactly what can reach you and when, so your phone starts working for your values instead of against them.

In my Focus Modes Made Simple workshop, I walk you through the entire setup step by step, for both iPhone and Android. You’ll get a personal planning workbook, step-by-step setup guides for both devices, a gallery of 40 custom wallpapers that turn your lock screen into a visual reminder of your intentions, and the confidence to actually use this feature in your everyday life.

Find out more about the workshop.

Frequently Asked Questions About Digital Distraction

What is digital distraction?

Digital distraction is when your phone, apps, or online content pull your attention away from what matters most, including your relationships, your faith, your focus, and your daily life. It includes obvious time-wasters like endless scrolling, and subtler forms too, like consuming good content that fills your time without feeding your soul.

Is good screen time still a form of digital distraction?

Yes. Good screen time becomes a form of digital distraction when it fills your time without feeding your soul or moving your life forward. The goal isn’t to eliminate screen time but to move toward screen time that is intentional, purposeful, and aligned with your values.

How do I know if my screen time is good, better, or best?

Ask yourself three questions. Am I choosing this, or is my phone choosing for me? Is this feeding my soul or just filling my time? Is what I’m doing right now aligned with who God made me to be? Your honest answers will show you exactly where you land in the framework.

What is the difference between better and best screen time?

Better screen time is intentional. You’re actively choosing it rather than reacting to a habit or a notification. Best screen time is when you’re so fully present, on or off your phone, that you’re creating real connection and living in alignment with your values. Best doesn’t require a special occasion. It shows up in the ordinary moments of a regular day.

What is the most effective way to reduce digital distraction?

Start with one small change rather than a total overhaul. The one-second pause before picking up your phone is a powerful first step. From there, define what “best” looks like in your own life, then create one boundary that protects space for it, whether that’s a Focus Mode, a phone-free meal, or a phone-free bedroom.